Zombie Uprising

So it appears we have had a zombie outbreak in Sydney. Unfortunately it was in January 2007 and we didn’t hear about it until last month. This is important information!

Apparently the two police officers tried to subdue this so-called average man, who managed to pull a gun from one of the officers and fend off their attacks by flailing his arms in a "circular freestyle motion". He withstood their struggles and even a bout of capsicum spray and simply walked away from the scuffle.

Now I don’t know about you, but I doubt a zombie would have enough presence of mind to be able to pull an officer’s gun from his holster and hold it up to his stomach. To be able to withstand the scuffle which included a headlock and the capsicum spray…well perhaps he was simply an A-grade footballer out on the town with the lads.

However perhaps it’s time I brushed up on my zombie plan thanks to my recent Amazon purchase). You never know when a zombie uprising will begin. Or if it has already begun…

Air Show

We went to the Australian Defence Force air show on the weekend at the RAAF base at Amberley. It was so exciting. There were displays from the air force, army and navy including air craft, vehicles, weapons and all the things that go along with that (ie. engineers, ground support, etc).

Of course the best thing was the planes and choppers. We walked around F-111s, F-15s (from the US), F/A-18s (my favourite!) as well as Tiger ARH and Blackhawk choppers – these were the most exciting to look at. There were also heavy lifting planes including a C17 which was pretty impressive. There was an actual air display of course – the attraction of the day. Highlights were the squirrel choppers in a ‘pairs’ display; the F-111 (including the dump and burn); the aerobatic flying from a Red Bull pilot; the amazing Roulettes (Australian equivalent of the Blue Angels) in their synchronised display; and of course the awesome F/A-18s who did a group display as well as a solo performance. I just love hornets. I’m so excited about Australia taking delivery of our super hornets in 2010.

It was also pretty cool looking at the ground vehicles like personnel carriers – and of course the weapons! Azreal played with a sniper rifle. I held a bazooka (air tank), and we both played with the various rifles on display. By the time we left we were both absolutely salivating with desire to play Battlefield 2.

Unfortunately it was a long, hot day out in the sun and I’ve been extremely busy at work. I’ve had things to do every night this week – except tonight. So I think I’ll be suggesting a nice night of some hot lan action. Yeah baby.

The list

I have come to the realisation that while I have dabbled in many games, mostly recent releases, there are so many games out there that I have either never finished or attained a respectable level of skill. In terms of my casual gaming titles, I have obtained many a title in an excited state, played the game in a few sessions and become stuck. I may have attempted to get around the obstacle a few times but with so many games to choose from (thanks to my disposable income which I am happy to dispose of at my local games store) it’s just too easy to move onto another game.

I actually came to this realisation when I was thinking about all of the classics – modern and older – that I haven’t played or finished, and want to play in order to round out my education as a gamer. Titles I’ve dabbled in such as Counter Strike: Source, Crysis, FEAR, Ghost Recon, ICO, Soul Calibur, Zelda. Titles I’ve never played such as Half Life 2, Portal, Rainbow 6, Quake, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Prince of Persia, Final Fantasy, Shadow of the Colossus, We (heart) Katamari, Gears of War. And I’ve never even played an RTS – so I want to try Command and Conquer 3, Red Alert, Company of Heroes. So many games!

This lead me to scale back my plan and at least start with the games I own and finish the games I’ve started! Then there are games Azreal has bought that I’ve never played. Then, games I can borrow off people. And demos we have around the place. I haven’t even bothered writing down games I want to play that I don’t have access to in one way or another. I think it will take me close to a year to get through this list! I’m excited.

I’m starting with my PSP.

Some Wii Action

I played my new Boom Blox game on the weekend. It was pretty fun. It’s a pretty simple game – using the Wii remote to aim at stacks of blocks to throw a ball and remove the special gem blocks in as few throws as possible; it takes a bit of lateral thinking. It’s a fairly kiddy game but I love my puzzle games. I can see how it would become a competitive game shared between a few people; Azreal would love trying to out-do me (or anyone else).

I also played Wii Tennis for an hour and surprised myself at how poorly I did. I actually got worse. I even went to the training drills to practise my aim but it hardly helped. I did win a few games but unfortunately I came out with a lower score than what I started with. I scared myself off playing because I don’t want to decrease my score too much! I think I’m just too impatient.

One of the Frag Dolls, Jinx, is leaving the group to work for Xbox in Sydney. How awesome. I’ve played with the thought of working for a games company – either developer or distributor. In Australia I’d either have to move to Sydney to work for a distributor to work in the marketing department (which would be awesome and probably something I’d be able to do without too much of a change) – but moving to Sydney isn’t something I would want to do. But here in Brisbane we have a fair few developers so I’ve considered working as a project manager however that would be harder for me to get into as I currently have no IT project management experience (currently working on that career move on the web side of that at the moment). I’ve always come to the conclusion that I didn’t want to work in the games industry because I wouldn’t want to tarnish my love of gaming with working in the industry. That’s probably true for the technical side of things. But the thought of working for Xbox marketing is awfully tantalising. Although I’d probably get stuck marketing something like Barbie’s catwalk fashion show or something like that.

Gaming in absence of the boyfriend

I played Crysis on the weekend for the first time and damn, it was hard. I was not expecting it to be that hard! It usually takes me a little while to get used to a game but either I was atrocious or it is a hard game. I only had it set to the medium difficulty and I don’t want to have to swallow my pride and set it to easy. But maybe I’ll have to. It didn’t help that I kept forgetting the controls for things. I still can’t figure out how to do a few things. How embarrassing.

I’m quite a lot shorter than Azreal and he has his monitor set at a certain level that I don’t want to change, but it’s so high that I can’t see the top of the screen properly because it reflects at the wrong angle and all I see is black. I’m scared to break the monitor stand – he would be very sad if I did that.

I’ve been improving my Wii Tennis score, in hopes of becoming a pro and I’m almost there. I’ve only been playing a little bit here and there whilst waiting for other things so I’ve been progressing slowly and steadily. Azreal became a pro before he left so I must become one by the time he gets home! Can’t let him beat me!

I bought his birthday present to give him when he returns in two weeks – Sins of a Solar Empire – which he’s been talking about for a few months now. I got it surprisingly cheap, only $70. I also found Boom Blox for Wii which we’ve been looking for for months now (is that grammatically correct?). I didn’t buy it because it was kind of expensive but now I’m scared it will disappear again. I think I should go back and buy it. I’ve been spending so much money since Azreal’s been away. I've seen ads for the new Trauma Centre - I wonder if it's as good as the first one, which I've never seen for sale here in Australia.

Since I did my presentation at work about being a gamer I’ve had people coming up to me for various gaming advice – girls wanting to play games with their partners, our media department wanting to book ads targeted at kids studying gaming, our creative department designing ads targeted at the same audience and our account service (client service) trying to convince their clients why gamers would understand this ad concept versus another concept.

I do miss Azreal. We're now at the half way point so it's only two weeks till he comes home. I haven't spoken to him for over a week because of either conflicting schedules or because the wifi is so bad at his accommodation that Skype isn't possible so we've just chatted on messenger. I miss his voice. He always knows what to say though. Apparently Paris isn't the same without me. How sweet. I can't wait to come home from work, run through the front door, give him a big hug and cover him with kisses.

Enjoying Singledom

I’m doing a bit better without Azreal around now. The first night was difficult, as expected. To not be greeted with a warm hug and to cook dinner for one was lonely, although I did get to chat to him via messenger as he had a 10-hour stopover in Singapore. I don’t get to see him for long in the morning anyway as he leaves for work before I get up (normally just a sleepy goodbye kiss).

But I quickly began to enjoy cooking up big dinners for myself (which resulted in many meals worth of leftovers), enjoyed with an alcoholic beverage and my favourite album of funk-acid jazz or funk/blues inspired dance/pop which I don’t often listen to (as Azreal isn’t really into that kind of music). I’ve been doing that this week while I have the house to myself and next week when our housemate gets back I’m sure I’ll be hitting the computer room for some gaming and viewing of our many TV show downloads.

I read an article today about the importance of developing separate interests in a relationship, and if you share some interests then great – but pursue what you love in order to maintain your individuality, the same thing that brought you together in the first place. So I’m making a special effort this month to reconnect with those things I used to do before we got together but have since given up.

I work in an area of town with a lot of bars known for their live music. I might go out after work a few nights and absorb the culture.

Azreal left today

Azreal left today. I thought I was doing pretty well, being very strong and focusing on the positives in the situation. We went for a walk late in the afternoon yesterday and he started to get a little sad – the first time I’d seen him sad to be leaving me. Of course he’d been upset that I had been sad but this was the first time his feelings hadn’t been triggered by my outward display of emotions (he’s not much of an “I display my emotions” kind of guy).

And last night when we were brushing our teeth together I just lost it. Of course I ended up laughing – do you know how hard it is to cry and brush your teeth at the same time? Pretty damn hard.

This morning when it came to waiting around for the taxi and then saying goodbye, I restrained myself enough to just a few tears and choked words. But once he left the sobs started. Not a lot – I hate crying and by then I was sick of it! But I fought back tears on the train to work, and I bought myself some flowers to cheer me up and when I brought them into work people asked me why so my voice was a bit shaky as I told them about Azreal (and tears threatened to come out!). But I’m pretty good now. A sad sigh every now and then as I think of him but I think there may be more tears when I arrive home with no one to greet me. And a cold night of TV and an empty bed.

Don’t be so melodramatic! He isn’t gone forever! There’s a girl I work with whose boyfriend is on a temporary contract in London for 6 months, and is likely to stay on after that – she will probably move over there if he is offered the permanent position though.

Wireless home

I now have an Eee PC and a wi-fi setup at home. I love being able to sit on the couch, watch TV, surf the internet or play with my budget spreadsheet and run in and out of the kitchen whilst cooking dinner. It's so cool.

And the Eee PC is great. Sure, the keyboard is a little small but I have tiny hands so it's taken hardly any time at all to get used to. The size of the 8.9" screen is perfect and although I intended to buy the black version, I'm actually glad the store I went to only had the white ones left, as I really like the colour.

Azreal and I have been playing with Skype and messenger on our PCs and his mobile as he gets prepared to go to Europe. Ah, what an age we live in.

Preparing for a month of singledom

Azreal leaves for his boys trip to Europe in two weeks. I’m not particularly looking forward to being left on my own for a whole month, although it will force me to get out more and spend time with my friends that normally I only see once in a while. I also think I will appreciate the amount of stuff he does around the house a lot more once I get a taste of doing it for myself for a month!

This weekend we did quite a lot of housework and while I spent many hours washing, vacuuming, mopping and scrubbing, he certainly pulled his weight AND still cooked dinner at the end of the day. I was exhausted after a day of cleaning and some one-on-one boxing training and I couldn’t face cooking dinner yet during the week Azreal spends all day working in a manual labour job, often does some cleaning or grocery shopping and most nights cooks dinner as well. While he’s away I will have to do the shopping, cleaning and cooking for myself. Funny how I used to do that for myself anyway when I was single and before we moved in together and it was no big deal but now that I’m facing it again it seems so daunting.

I have a few things planned to keep me occupied while he’s away. I’ll be catching up with friends on the weekends (and of course, cleaning and grocery shopping!). But Azreal has stocked up his computer with some goodies for me like Half Life 2 and Crysis to keep me entertained. We’re very much an insulated couple, spending most of our spare time together (mostly at home). When we do go out it’s usually in a small group and rarely apart from each other. We do have separate friends but generally we prefer each other’s company. And even as individuals we tend to be happy keeping to ourselves – playing games, reading books, going for walks.

I keep saying to myself that this time alone will be really good for me, I will grow as an individual and regain that individuality that I had before Azreal and I got together. And it will be good for us as a couple to learn to communicate better and perhaps not take each other for granted so much. But I will miss him so much! And why does it have to be in winter when I need his warm hugs so much?

I can’t wait for him to come home and we can spend our week at the Gold Coast.

Coming out at work

At work every few months we get together to share projects that we’ve been working on for all the departments to see each other’s work, as well as for the agency to see finished products of campaigns we have produced. Individuals also present interesting ads (of any medium – TV, press, internet, outdoor, etc) or campaigns to discuss and a select few are chosen to present on something a little more personal – their “hidden creative talent” or more loosely, their hobby or interest which takes up their spare time. I was lucky enough to be chosen this time to present on my hobby.

So I spoke about gaming of course. A few people around the place know about my passion, as I have various game promo postcards and (small) posters stuck up on my wall, and a Lara Croft wallpaper on my computer. When asked what I got for my birthday, the girls around me had no idea what I was talking about when I described my awesome headphones (“why would you have headphones designed for playing games?”), and I often reply, “I played games all weekend” when asked what I spent my weekend doing. But I think the majority of people were surprised with my presentation. Particularly the nature of the games I play, given I’m a rather shy and small 5’1” innocent looking young lady with good manners and I was showing screen shots of a sniper scopes in COD4 complete with blood splatter.

It was a rather entertaining presentation. I had Azreal take photos of me dressed up in outfits to highlight the adaptability of gaming platforms, so I was a tennis player on the Wii, an elite cop in Time Crisis (PS2) and a rock star in Guitar Hero 2 (PS2). I made light of our romantic evenings at home with a shot of Azreal and me sitting side by side at our computers, playing COD4 and some close-ups of us with our headsets and some in-game conversation. I also spoke about LAN tournaments and professional gamers (people love hearing about that stuff).

The crowd lapped it up – what a success! Of course now I have people emailing me those crappy games built in excel with really basic controls, asking me what I think of them.

Anniversary

Azreal and I celebrated our fourth anniversary last week. We both took the day off work and had breakfast at Southbank. We walked around there for a while. It was a beautiful morning; the fog was really thick and was hanging over the river – the city was covered in a thick blanket and the skyscrapers disappeared into the clouds. Very dreamy. It was so nice being there without anyone else there.

We eventually walked over into the city and took our time walking around. We went into an arcade and played some games. We shot zombies together and I stood by his side as he challenged a very serious looking Korean guy at Tekken 6 (which Azreal lost 3-2). I loved racing cars in the rally game because I can’t drive due to my epilepsy and the games have full steering wheels, pedals, surround sound and force feedback (and I won). We had lunch, did a little bit of shopping, spent far too much time on the PS3 demo at Harvey Norman and went back to Southbank to eat ice cream, sit by the river and talk about solving the world’s problems.

It was a great day.

Brisbane's own gaming convention

Brisbane is finally getting a gaming convention. I’m so excited. We get Supanova (http://www.supanova.com.au/) every year which I admit I wouldn’t mind going to, but it’s more about comic book geeks and kids dressing up and doing their cosplay comps. To be honest I’m scared of the kind of people who go to it. Though I’d love to see the celebrities that go, and listen to the speeches.

But we’re getting Gencon (www.genconoz.com), four days of anime screenings, seminars, displays from game developers, previews of new games, game tournaments, tabletop game displays (and tournaments), game and anime merchandise, cosplay (of course) and of course celebrities! It’s the first time it has been in Australia and of course Sydney and Melbourne people are complaining about it going to a one-horse town like Brisbane. But they get lots of conventions. I’d even take time off work to go to it if my boss wasn’t already having that time off. Damn it. But I’ll see what I can do. Maybe I can have a half day.

Two of the FragDolls posted a picture of them with Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimiglia) at a Comicon. No fair!

25th birthday party

To celebrate my birthday I had a few friends over on Saturday afternoon/evening to play a few Wii and PS2 games. Of our “normal” friends (ie. friends that we’d made before we got into gaming) we’re definitely the most into games but as you can imagine the guys out of the group had the most fun because they also played games on a regular basis or picked the games up more easily. The girls had a little more trouble but all in all it was still a pretty good night. It was a small group – my friend from uni and her husband who we have had over before for games nights, Azreal’s brother (who we bought the Wii off) and my friend from work who’s never even used a Wii before.

We played Wii tennis, boxing, bowling and baseball as well as Buzz hollywood and Guitar Hero II on the PS2. Of course there was drinking involved and we walked up the road to Nando’s to create a commotion and feel embarrassed as Azreal and I go there quite regularly so the owners of the store know who we are. And we had ice cream cake, which I’ve wanted since I was a kid but was never allowed to have. Nice dessert to have on a cold and rainy night!

It was lots of fun but I couldn’t help but feel that I had to go easy on the others (Azreal excluded – we went head to head on both Wii boxing and Guitar Hero and both went hard…that was fun!). It would be nice to have a group of gamer friends that we could really spur each other on. Now I kind of know how Azreal feels when he plays – like he’s being held back by playing with people who are noobs.

I was just glad that I got to have a relatively cheap night without having to pretend to have fun (how I usually feel when I do the civilised dinner and drinks for my birthday) and could just be myself – a geek – do the things I want with the people I want to be with. The sign of becoming mature, yes?

Spontaneous clan session

Had a good session of BF2 last night with some clan members. Tintin called Azreal and said he was going to be online so of course we dropped what we were doing and logged on. RJ showed up too.

I got to use my new Steelseries 5Hv2 headphones for the first time and they were incredible. I was hearing sounds I’d never heard before. I heard a helicopter fly over my head and was freaked out because it sounded so close – I literally ducked for cover (much to Azreal’s amusement). The sounds of explosions and bombs dropping was amazing. I could hear bullets whizzing past my head as I sniped from a water tower and could work out where the other sniper was shooting from. They really add an edge to your game. Only now I’m noticing how poor the graphics are on my slow computer. And I want a better mouse.

We’re supposed to be putting a cap on our spending as we look to buy a house next year. So I shouldn’t be thinking about upgrading my computer. But it’s not fair that Azreal’s going to Europe with his best mate while I’m at home playing on his computer now is it? Just because he earns twice as much as me. Sulk.

Wii Marvel Ultimate Alliance

I bought Marvel Ultimate Alliance for the Wii a few months ago in a two for $50 deal (with Rayman Raving Rabbids) and hadn’t had a chance to play it multiplayer until recently because we had only had one nunchuk until I bought one about two weekends ago.

I really only bought the game for Azreal because I’ve never been into the Marvel or Xmen games on PSP that he’s had and loves so much. He’d played with MUA on the wii once or twice but was really keen for me to play it with him so we could go on missions together. So I got the nunchuk and we put our team of four together and I’ve discovered that I absolutely love the game. We’ve been playing it for hours and hours on the weekends. I was meeting my friend for coffee on Sunday and we’d been playing it before I left, and I found it really hard to tear myself away from the game.

We’ve got a pretty good thing going there. We just love playing games together, be it Wii Tennis, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Tekken, Guitar Hero, Battlefield 2 or the latest PC demo. We’re going to have heaps of things to keep us entertained while we’re stuck at home, not spending our money on entertainment as we save to buy our house and then spend all our money paying it off. I love sitting at home being geeky with my best friend.

Our clan has disbanded

Our clan has pretty much disbanded which is rather disappointing. Our core team of about four people was made up of myself, Azreal, Azreal’s brother and Azreal’s friend Tintin. Tintin had some other friends who were great players and quite enthusiastic, but really only played whenever Tintin would ring them up and get them to log on.

Tintin and his partner had a baby this year so that’s affected when he can play and basically he can’t play when the rest of us have free time and especially on our organised gaming night, Tuesday nights. Totally understandable, so we can’t be angry about that. But it means that the other guys don’t show up anymore.

And Azreal’s brother is ridiculously disorganised and rarely answers his phone, let alone show up for an organised, weekly game, so relying on him to be there each week is not an option. Even if we call him to find out if he’ll be on the server is a hit and miss because he might not answer his phone. So sometimes Azreal and I play on Tuesday nights, sometimes we don’t. It’s not as much fun when we don’t have a clan. Plus we’re going off the game BF2 because of all the morons who play it.

But I can guarantee I’ll be playing tonight. Azreal gave me a kick-ass set of headphones for my birthday (which is today), Steelseries 5H. Azreal bought them for himself last year and I loved them. Much as I liked the pretty white neckband series, I preferred the headset style for comfort (the steelseries website seems to have the headset in white but Umart only sells them in black, and very cheap compared to retail price) I’ve been using the old ones that we’ve been sharing with our housemates for the last four years (sweaty, stinky guys) and they not bad but aren’t exactly in peak condition anymore. So I can’t wait to try out my new headphones.

The thrill of the frag

I was watching an interview with these people that wear wing suits – basically they are base jumpers but wear suits that have flaps in them which make them glide. They likened it to flying like a bird because you can control your direction and speed (to an extent). The comment was made about people living mundane lives and never experiencing a thrill.

While I’m sure the feeling of flying with a wing suit or even base jumping is absolutely amazing, I have to say that gaming gives me a pretty big rush of adrenaline when I play. I recently finished Call of Duty 4 and at those last moments when you’ve managed to survive an all-out assault, have seen your enemy kill your team mates and get the chance to kill him with a simple pistol…my heart was racing, my eyes wide, I was holding my breath. THAT was a rush.

I play team sports and love it. I’ve been rockclimbing lately (indoor…am going outdoor for the first time in a few weeks) and am enjoying it. Not long ago I was a gym junkie but I have to admit I’m not so motivated once the temperature drops or work gets busy and my body says, “I want sleep!”. I love to use my brain so devouring books about modern history – particularly the civilian uprisings that have led to our modern wars and the effects of war on society – is something I spend a lot of time doing. But one of my favourite things to do is play games. Games that make you think, be it on a strategic level or a simple puzzle to wind down at the end of a day.

You don’t have to be doing extreme sports to get a rush. You can get it sitting in a chair, fragging jerks.

Career evaluation

So I work in account service in an advertising agency. That means I manage a client’s advertising activity, from planning the launch of a new product/service or certain seasonal sales or campaigns to general branding campaigns. It also includes organising advertising for ongoing things like Yellow Pages ads, emails to loyalty clubs, everyday newspaper ads, billboard ads, TV ads and the like.

I have really enjoyed what I do for the most part of the last two years. It’s fast paced and can be pretty stressful but I get a buzz out of planning out activity according to the behaviours of that company’s customers (or potential customers). Most of all the work I enjoy is the digital elements including website design, web banners, email marketing, SEM, SEO and all the strategy that goes with it.

Our agency had been outsourcing that work to a local web design company whom I would deal directly with to plan and then track the building of my clients’ work however our agency soon discovered this was a big growth area and we’ve been building our own digital department over the last few months.

I’ve been talking to management since the development of the digital department, trying to get in as a project manager or similar and there’s always been “plans for me.” A recent meeting last month I was told that it was very close and now they’re trying to decide whether I would be better as a project manager in the technical department (given my skills and knowledge in account service – I know what the client wants and what account service wants where as the techie guys in there at the moment really have no clue how to deliver the technology to the client…they only speak tech-speak) or whether I would be better in the strategy department (again given my skills in account service because I know how to communicate directly with the client and account service rather than having my head in the clouds). I think in the short term I would find technical/production easier to adapt to because my head is more geared for that kind of thing, however I think there is more of a future for me in strategy if I look at from a career progression perspective.

I was told that I could expect to move within the next six months. It gives me hope however I’ve been having meetings about it since October last year so I have to admit I’m a tad pessimistic about it! I think perhaps it’s easier to leave me in account service for the time being because our clients are always so busy.

I have pursued other options in project management also, however made a decision to stay in the advertising industry as I believe this is where my passion is. I didn’t want to take a step backwards into exclusive web design in order to become a project manager. I might have to stick it out a bit longer and then evaluate my options again.

Two quotes today from Girlgeeks.com:


"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow anymore."
—Shirley Hufstedler

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
—Thomas Edison

Wii fatigue

I think I went too hard at wii baseball on Monday night. I feel like I’ve been doing weights! It’s a nice feeling though – I feel like I’ve worked out when all I did was play some games. Nice.

So Azreal’s brother has let us borrow his Wii to see if we want to buy it off him. A rather strange proposition methinks, as I was pretty sure I did want to buy it to begin with having already played it when he bought it a year ago, however that’s what he wanted to do. He already had Wii Play and Sports (of course) and Zelda, so we just want to get Super Mario Galaxy, perhaps Mario Kart and are awaiting the release of Super Smash Bros Brawl. I’m thinking about Rayman Raving Rabbids as well for a bit of fun but I don’t know how good it is. I’ve heard Trauma Centre is pretty good too, but Azreal doesn’t seem sold on it.

Onto the PSP, I’ve read rave reviews about Patapon by the makers of Loco Roco which I LOVED however Azreal has said that he’s read that it’s crap. So I guess I’ll download the demo and have a look for myself.

Played BF2 last night but only the three of us turned up. Why are clan members so unreliable?

Grown-up stuff

Azreal and I had a very adult conversation on the weekend. It involved mortgages, marriage and *gulp* children.

It of course started with the fact that we’d been looking at properties in the area and the fact that perhaps we could really only afford a townhouse in our suburb. This wasn’t ideal as we had plans of one day having a family and you couldn’t raise a family in a three bedroom townhouse with no backyard, with a building that was potentially joined onto that of our neighbours. Or at least that wasn’t the way we wanted to do it. Azreal also felt that he didn’t want to buy a place that we’d only have to sell in a few years’ time once we’d outgrown it.

And that brought us to the question: when do we want to have kids? Now I’m 24 (soon to be 25) but Azreal is 28 (turning 29). I’d always thought I’d probably start to try having kids around 28, maybe fall pregnant around 29-30…however that’s three years away. Recently I’d thought, “kids…that’s five years away!” and that’s what I blurted out. I wasn’t exactly expecting the look on Azreal’s face. He replied, “well I’d always thought I’d start having kids around 30. And that’s only next year.”

Sooo..maybe I should have thought before I opened my mouth. But he admitted that 1-2 years away was sooner than we were ready for. But we both realised that we had to start thinking about our plans for kids, and that our age difference which had never presented a problem before was going to have to be something that needed to be negotiated. Obviously being the woman my time was a lot more restricted when it came to having kids. But I have epilepsy so we have to be 100% ready to have kids in terms of medications that I’m on and all sorts of vitamins in my system (since our conversation I’ve been popping folate at the maximum dose – although I’ve been taking the recommended dose for a while now). So perhaps it will be somewhere around the age of 27-28 that we start trying. Damn, that’s only two years away.

And of course, I stated that if we were going to have kids then I wanted to be married. He agreed but looked a bit concerned about this. I know the thought of marriage scares him. I don’t know if it’s marriage itself, or the stress and cost of the wedding. He worries about my very traditional, religious mother and how much she would push for us to do it the church way. I worry about that too! I also worry about all the things you have to do because it’s expected of you. I have thought about weddings a lot lately, with so many people around me having been married or engaged lately, and I think that eloping would be a much better way to go – mind you I think of all the people who would be so disappointed (but isn’t that the point of eloping…escaping the expectations of people?). I hated having to tell Azreal that I wanted to get married. I think every girl wants her boyfriend to pop the question out of the blue but I have realised that Azreal is a practical guy and will only do what is necessary.

Now if we’re going to be thinking ahead and having two kids, we need a house to accommodate us. So that means something like a four bedroom house. We can’t afford one of those in our suburb. We agreed we’d like to have a house before we started having kids (ideally). So we started thinking of places to live. One of those communities with parks and schools and bike paths already in place sounded great, where the people are there for a common interest – like Northlakes or Woodlands – we know a few people who live there and love it. The houses are practically brand new and quite cheap. I can’t drive because of my epilepsy so it needs to be near public transport and we talked about Azreal being the stay at home dad while I stayed at work to be the breadwinner (so he can drive the kids to school, soccer practice, doctor’s appointments). Being the main income earner I’d have to have a substantial income so maybe I should look at getting another job that earns more – perhaps closer to home as transport is an issue in the estates (they tend to be a long way out of town). Now all of a sudden I’m a working mother with two kids, the main income earner and I’m trying to find a new job close to home in the middle of nowhere.

Do you see where I’m going? I spent the next day, well, freaking. My next five years have been mapped out for me and by 30 I’m going to be married with two kids, paying off a mortgage in a house somewhere that’s cut off from the rest of the world, I have to find a job that I can catch public transport to that pays more than I earn here yet I need to come home happy every day because I’m playing happy family (and don’t forget it needs to give me maternity leave).

Now don’t get me wrong. I know Azreal loves me. In fact lately he’s been really affectionate and caring. But I’m enjoying things at the moment. I want to get married and enjoy things. And then have a baby and enjoy things. It’s good to plan, but it’s just scary to lump it all together. I really should grow up – I’m 24. I’m certainly capable of being an adult. By 26 my mother had 3 kids and my parents were running my Dad’s electrical business. It’s just a lot to process.

House Hunting

I've just started browsing the real estate websites in our suburb for houses/townhouses to look at whether we're ready to buy in the near future and things are still pretty expensive (or anything we could possibly afford is pretty crappy) but apparently prices are starting to drop because people are having to lower their prices due to people being able to afford less. Interest rates!! Of course, if people would stop living on credit so much then our economy might be very different...

We'd been dreaming of buying a house in our suburb but it looks like we might only be able to afford a townhouse for now. At least it's a foot in the door, and it's in the suburb we want - better than living somewhere we don't want to live. I’m not really earning all that much at the moment and have only just started saving this year after our trip to Europe last year so I don’t have a lot to contribute to a mortgage. Azreal earns more than twice as much as I do. He owns a townhouse in our suburb and a house out of town as investment properties but at this point in time has no intention of getting rid of these as they are part of his investment strategy. His plan is that if we were to buy a place, it would be on top of these. Of course if it really came down to it he might sell one in order to pay for our place.

We’ve looked at apartments in the city and just over the river, but would rather live in a more house-type place than in a box. And really our townhouse is perfect because it is a separate townhouse (ie. It’s not joined to anything else) so it’s like living in a house, but it’s small enough to not be so high maintenance as a house – and of course more affordable than a house in our suburb.

Our landlord got our place valuated last week so we're wondering if it meant they are considering selling due to the increasing interest rates, or simply reassessing how much rent they will be charging us! Either way, it has made us think about how long we will be living here.

Gadgets and Toys

I want the Asus Eee PC. I’ve been wanting a notebook for sometime now, but have never been able to justify the expense for just wanting a portable computer for messing around with while I’m lazing around the house. And there are the tradeoffs you have to make when buying a notebook (ie. performance) that made me either want an XPS (ie. such a massive, powerful laptop it might as well be a desktop PC), or realise I’m better off with my desktop anyway.

But this little notebook is perfect. It’s got some basic apps for a little bit of working – word processing, spreadsheet and of course emailing – plus the usual things you want in a computer – web surfing, music/media player and an in-built web cam for a bit of Skype action. Oh and did I mention the wifi? Hello wireless home. There have been some not so great reviews, but this thing isn’t supposed to be a workhorse. I can imagine plugging it in at night to charge next to my mobile phone, PSP and DS after using it for some light entertainment or taking it travelling. I’ve never used a Linux system before either, but I’m pretty curious about it. Millions of people can’t be wrong huh?

On another note, we may be getting a Wii afterall. After a disappointing few months of deciding to put our money together and buy a Wii for Christmas, Azreal and I have been unable to get one thanks to the complete lack of stock throughout Australia since mid December. Andrew’s brother has had once since they came out in 2006, and rarely uses it so mentioned he might sell it while he can get a good price. Sounds like a deal! Wii console plus four controllers, Wii Sports, Wii Play and Zelda – hardly used. All to a good home. It would probably be him (and others) that we’d invite around to play with us anyway.

Gee we live in a materialistic society, don’t we?

Saying Sorry

There’s a lot of opinion out there on on our Government’s apology to the Stolen Generation.

I think it was a well-worded speech (albeit politically correct and careful not to lead to controversy or avoid any potential lawsuits – but we will see what will be the result), and it absolutely needed to be done. The stolen generation is a very dark chapter in our nation’s history that I was horrified to learn of when I was young, particularly having grown up in Cairns and having many Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander friends and neighbours.

Of course most people see the apology as the action being the most symbolic thing, as the past cannot be undone. We can fix things so that it can’t happen again, and we can acknowledge that it was wrong, but we can’t undo it. I believe, it all boils down to one simple thing: Australia had to say sorry.

Game night

It’s game night tonight. I love playing Battlefield 2 with the clan, even if I feel like the weakest player in the squad. I’m the newest player of the clan and some of the guys have played together before but I’m definitely getting better. It’s also a matter of the clan being newly formed as well, so we’re learning to work together. I need to practice more but I have to admit that I find it hard to do after spending all week sitting at a computer (and most of that time, highly stressed). I’m still only part of the way through the COD4 single player story.

It’s funny, I spend most of my free time thinking about games, reading up on them, talking about them and yet when I actually get some free time I usually resign myself to playing Lumines or Medal of Honour on my PSP because sitting at the computer after work or on the weekend just reminds me of work. Mind you it would help if the computer room wasn’t so damn hot in summer and if I could get near Azreal’s mega computer (“Spartan” as he has named it) to play COD4 as it won’t run on my slow thing (Ronin). And of course there is cricket to be watched on the weekend…

I must apply myself if I am to be a true she-geek!